It's the 60's and a family gets lost and is picked up by a cult. As we know, the 60's were a "different time", and cults picked up people off the streets every day. The head of this cult is Manos, who presumably has hands, and his cult is full of women who think they have rights. Obviously a bunch of crazies. This Manos guy is creepy and talks to literally nothing at times, which is pretty sad. This cult tortures the family and wants to kill a child who came along with them, which is probably a relief to the parents. There was also this scene where this woman slapped this guy 5 times. It was pretty great.
Just for some context, last week I thought Time Chasers was "so bad, it's good", but with Manos, I didn't get the same vibe. I didn't like how it took place in the creepy woods and involved cults, I would have much rather made it as a lighthearted movie like Time Chasers. Wow, I miss Time Chasers. I feel the same way as many of the critics, who just panned this movie and didn't enjoy it at all. When the cult ladies started fighting, it just felt awkward and not even remotely funny. I wish I liked this more, but I just didn't. It honestly gave me a bad headache and I wanted to stop watching it as soon as I could. This was, by far, the worst movie I've ever seen, let alone this school year.
1 Comment
It's the 90's and technology is so great, kids can ride their skateboards to school. Oh yeah, and time travel. Nick (Matthew Bruch) constructs a time travel device. Nick was going to use this for the good of humanity, but that would be pretty lame, told to do so by the CEO of a nature corporation, J.K. (George Woodard). When he tried to use his time machine, he almost destroys the planet. Nick then goes on to build another time machine, since of course that's a good idea ("hey, my first one nearly destroyed the universe, how will I fix this? Another time machine") and attempts to stop J.K. from coming up with the idea for the original time machine.
I've never googled so much about a movie in my life. I was beyond curious with all of the aspects of this movie, since it's criminally low-budget. Apparently, the whole movie was shot in Vermont, and wasn't even intended to premiere in theaters. Instead, it aired on the sci-fi TV series, Mystery Science Theater 3000. This was caused by my many observations, including "is this a movie?" and "did a dog direct this movie?". After all, this movie was amazingly terrible. I observed early on that this was a parody of BTTF2, whether intended or not. That alone made me forgive this movie of all of its wrongdoings. It's so innocent, they tried to make an amazing movie but didn't have enough money. I bet with more resources and time, the concept of this film could branch out into something extraordinary. I would definitely want to watch something with such a good concept. The lack of money showed in scenes like the shotgun scene, which would be really cool if it wasn't filmed with a toaster. Not to mention the airplane scene before the time traveling, which would be way cooler with more editing. Also, the commentary from the show hosts wasn't as annoying as I thought it would be. Overall, terrible movie, but great time. Especially the host commentary, which made fun of the movie more than I ever could have. It's the 90's and energy drinks are the new thing! Also, an American family vacations to a town that is infested with trolls instead of people. Of course, this is only believed by a young boy in the family named Joshua (Michael Stephenson), while his parents don't think there really are trolls in the town. They soon realize that they are wrong. They try to fight off these evil trolls with the spirit of Joshua's grandpa, I don't know, man, it was really weird.
I fell asleep during this movie. To give some context, I am an incredibly terrible napper. I can never fall asleep in the middle of the day because my brain runs a million miles an hour whenever I try to. This weekend consisted of a fall play and two big school projects I've been working on, and that really drained my energy. While watching the movie, the last time I checked how far I was in it was around 65 minutes in, and that's all I can remember. So, a movie causing me to fall asleep is really impressive. From what I do remember, the concept is badly funny and it made me laugh at the stupidity and utter laziness the director put into this film. Again, I had to shut off a part of my brain to accomplish it, but overall, though it was gross at times, I enjoyed it more than I expected. After looking at some reviews online, I can see that I have the same opinion as many others. Troll 2, I cannot remember much of what story you were telling or anything of the sort, but I do remember that you caused me to feel joy while watching a movie that has a 6% fresh rating. Will (Matt Lanter) wakes up from his dream consisting of a huge disaster: Amy Winehouse burping in his face for 35 seconds. Oh yeah, and the world was ending. He has a fallout with his girlfriend Amy (Vanessa Lachey) when he didn't tell her that he loved her. At his sweet sixteen party (even though he's 25), she brings her new boyfriend to it, a Calvin Klein model. The rest of the film is a mash of "hilarious" characters as they go around Armageddon and meet some pop culture icons from 2008.
So, this is the worst rated movie on IMDb, and that really surprises me. Yes, it was a pretty bad movie, but I wouldn't guess that it would be the worst at all. There were some parts that were stretched out too long and utterly gross, but there were few parts where I laughed out loud. The crystal skull from the 2008 Indiana Jones movie was a big part of the plot, and the man who played Indiana Jones was sort of funny. As well as Crista Flanagan, who played a pregnant teenager, who was actually funny at times, especially her song she sang with her partner at the beginning. I'd probably give the movie a 3.5 or 4 out of 10, instead of 1.9/10. It was bad, but not THAT bad. |
Archives
May 2019
Categories |